Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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