Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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