mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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