I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
