Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
porn star boner night. come get it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
