There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
