He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
