I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
