I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
