She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
