if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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