how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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