Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
