Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Jerry, you need to find god
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
