your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
