I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
