This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
