You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
