tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
