if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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