Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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