dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
