I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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