I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
