i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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