U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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