his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
