I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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