Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
