i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
this hospital has no fireball
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
