It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
