there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
