careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
