Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
