Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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