You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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