what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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