Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
