the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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