The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
