he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
