new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
