it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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