so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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