so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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