Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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