no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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