He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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