R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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