i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
