i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
