Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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