I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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