his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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