This is not my ceiling
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
