Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
