On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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